Things you worry about when you have mental illness.

1. Do people believe me?
2. Am i mad?
3. Will it ever get better?
4. Are my meds worth the side effects?
5. Do my meds make me a different person?
6. Should I tell people?
7. Why can't I be normal?
8. Do people think I'm just being lazy? (am I?!)
9. Why don't people understand?
10. Will I ever be taken seriously?

Whenever I am having a bad time with my mental illness I still say I am ill (tonsillitis, and infection, a stomach bug, sickness) if I call in to work or cancel plans. I am too scared to be honest because if you say you are physically ill people accept it, no questions asked. If I were to be honest would people believe me? I am scared they'll think I'm lying or making excuses. 

Such a big part of why having a mental illness is hard is the constant worrying of what others will think. I don't usually care about things like that but when I am anxious or depressed it won't leave my mind. My mental illness is a disorder I will have for life. Sometimes it will be fine, other times it will be hard. There will be bad weeks, even bad months. People can be great at first, understanding and supportive but even the most patient people get tired of it. I can tell. people don't want to hear about it. They don't want the truth. So instead I lie and say I am ill (the non mental kind.)

If you know someone with a mental illness a little bit of support goes a long way. Don't question or doubt them when they tell you they are struggling. Just listen, or let them know you are there for them. When times are hard we have so many doubts and fears going round our heads that it's nice to know that someone believes us. 

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